How many times have you used the phrase “you don’t love me” with your husband when you feel forgotten by him? The situations that bring about this declaration are distinct and varied but they always leave our husbands angry and in a place of total misunderstanding, overflowing with questions…
“How can you say that I do not love you just because I walk faster than you?”
“How can you say that I do not love you just because I didn’t hang up my jacket when I got home?”
“How can you say I do not love you just because I forgot to call you today. I had a really crazy day at work!”
This is how the frustration rises and arguments develop. These can become zones of real conflict and cause distance to grow between spouses.
There are real treasures to discover under these painful minefields if you change that murderous phrase, "You don’t love me!” into a sentence that brings life, “I feel loved by you when…" :
"When you walk up to me or take my hand when we go somewhere together, I feel so loved and safe!"
"When you remember to hang up your jacket when you come home, I feel so loved. It tells me you respect the peace I feel when our house is tidy."
"When you think of calling me or texting me once a day, I feel so loved! Thank you for setting an alarm on your phone to never forget. Hearing your voice or reading your words keeps me connected to you all day long.”
Of course, these are just general examples, but think about your personal life. When you face a topic that creates constant tension and discover that addressing it always leaves you sad and feeling distant from your husband, change your approach. Instead of firing back with accusations, try to find the hidden secret to what will make you feel loved in these previously frustrating situations.
"I feel so loved when…" is a sentence that will change your life!
>>This blog is a sneak peek into mine and my husband's e-book “8 Keys to Understanding Your Spouse” from the series “60 Keys to Better Your Relationship”. We created this series to be an interactive journey with you and your spouse. Each key provides a new concept to help your relationship be the best it can be. This specific book is full of creative ideas to help couples simply overcome common obstacles. It unravels the mysteries of the opposite sex by revealing what men keep in their “nothing boxes” and the secrets of a woman’s heart.
Click this link to buy the e-book and get access to all 8 Keys!
Rachel Miquel Dufour