How can women embrace their female sexual identity when single?

Updated: Sep 11, 2020

In today’s society where sexuality is used and abused, being a single Christian woman can be a real cause for frustration.

Should we suppress our sexuality, ignoring it? and how can we manage all these hormones!!!

Or should we learn to discover and accept our sexuality as a gift from God and a symbol of Jesus’ relationship with us and our future oneness with Him?

Sexuality is beautiful and was created by God. We are sexual beings even when we are not married!

Can a single woman feel loved, beautiful, physically satisfied and secure without a husband? Absolutely she can.

So how can women embrace their female sexual identity when single?

I invite you to discover 3 facets of your sexuality by reading an excerpt of my book, “Hurray for the Va-Jay-Jay”:

Because sexuality is before anything else spiritual, I will encourage you to focus on your relationship with God. 

Your relationship with God is the primary source to provide for the discovery of your

identity, for you to feel loved for who you are, for you to find your purpose in life, and for you to feel safe. No man or any kind of relationship can provide those four essential needs fully. 

When you start your day, praise God for who He is and who He created you to be: a woman. Praise Him for your body and for the multiple gifts with which He empowered you.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)

Was He tempted at the sexual level? Yes, in every way, which means that Jesus was tempted at the sexual level as well. But He stayed connected to His Father at all times.

Because sexuality is emotional too, I will encourage you to build friendships in your life, an inner circle, where you can share your heart without being judged. Invest in friendships and avoid exclusivity. They can share your joy, your pain, your hopes, and your dreams. They can pray with you. They can keep you accountable when you face different battles. Jesus also, at one point in His life, needed to count on His close friends, His disciples.

Because sexuality is physical too, I will encourage you to learn to recognize sexual desires when they come so that you can channel them at the physical level. What works for you? Fitness? Dance? Sports? Music? Worship? Find an activity that will allow your body to release those necessary hormones and bring you the relief you need.

As a healthy habit, I would also encourage you to go on a weekly date with Jesus. Schedule a special time for you and Jesus when you will be able to take some self-care time and spend it with Jesus in mind, focusing on Him and His plan for you.

There is no need to feel ashamed for what you feel deep inside your soul and your body. Praise God because it works! 

Learn to guard and protect your body as you are single. Your sexuality is precious. Believe me, it's worth the wait.

To learn more, you can order “Hurray for the Va-Jay-Jay” by clicking on the link below. Its pages contain all you need to know about sexuality and the true stories of real women, both single and married, just like you. Women who have fallen into the deception both the world and the church have packaged for them and have, after discovering God’s truth, found the freedom they were so desperately seeking.

Rachel Miquel Dufour

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