How can one choose the right spouse? This is an excellent question! Marriage is a real challenge and must be cultivated for a lifetime. Building your relational house on the right foundation is essential!
If you are a believer, choose a spouse who shares your faith. If you want to win the race for a successful marriage, it is better to play on the same team. (Do not be unequally bound together with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them, inconsistent with your faith]. 2 Corinthians 6:14, AMP)
Take the time to build a solid friendship before allowing romantic feelings to flood your relationship. “Happiness is being married to your best friend.”
Have intellectual conversations: Accept that he or she has a different opinion and
learn to respect their position.
Have fun together: Discover each other's hobbies, choose one to discover
together for the first time.
Learn to love each other’s friends. Build a common circle of friends. Get to know
each other in a group setting.
Spend time together sharing your emotions, your memories, your dreams.
Pray together, talk about God, the Bible, and your Christian life journey.
Of course, you must consider your future spouse to be the most beautiful person in the world! Sometimes, this physical attraction takes time to develop, but when considering growing old with someone, it is much better to be physically attracted to the one who will accompany us through all the changes that our bodies will go through as we get older.
Ask God to give a ‘green light’ in your heart for the relationship. Take time to reflect on this in prayer BEFORE you become too emotionally, spiritually or physically connected; it is possible your hormones will cloud your thinking if you don’t have things ordered correctly.
Pray with close friends who want what’s best for you so they can help you discover what God’s will is for your relationship. It is important to note here God will speak to you both individually about the relationship as you build it. Do not let yourself be influenced by people who come to you with statements like, “God told me that you had to get married to _________.” God speaks directly to the person concerned, especially in the case of marriage.
This is just some food for thought but remember, every story is different. The time to reflect on your choice of a spouse can only be taken before marriage. It is not an option to consider if you have made the correct choice after you have taken vows. Once marriage vows have been spoken, the relationship can and will succeed, because now the man and the woman have become one in the eyes of God. This covenant made before God allows us to say, “With God, we can face all that life has in store for us, and push through the good and bad times victoriously.”
Build your house with God as your foundation, you'll never regret it!
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Rachel Miquel Dufour